I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
