you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
