when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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