Rock
Scissors
Fuck
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
