Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize