He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
