Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
