3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
