If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize