Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
