I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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