North Korea, Best Korea!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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