I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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