were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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