you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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