margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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