My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
