Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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