I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.