This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.