Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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