im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
