i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
