If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
