He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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