you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
