Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
