Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
