next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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