Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
