Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
