he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
