Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
