Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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