if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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