if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
