guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was confusing and full of hummus
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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