They should really pass out barf bags in church
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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