Already got asked if we're dating
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
