I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
