your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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