how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Randomize
