Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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