I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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