I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we're making bets on your personal life
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Come camping we have xanax and steaks