Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
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Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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