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is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
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