R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Someone shit on the floor
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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