Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.