I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.