Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
