never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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