Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
