If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we have pet lesbian snakes
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
