I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
