And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
