I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize