Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
