Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize