I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
