its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
