I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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