I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How external is "for external use only"?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
