he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
