ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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