If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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