Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?

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(480): View more from Arizona

Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore

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(631): View more from New York

I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

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(613): View more from Ontario

Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team

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(601): View more from Mississippi

So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.

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