I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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