yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize