Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
