What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
