your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
